Two Lane Road

Lane one is life,

living me,

moving me along.

Something happens.

I respond,

or not.

Something happens. 

I respond,

or not.

And so it goes.

It looks like I am living life.

But maybe, life is living me.

It’s a dance…

give and take

take and give.

I can’t control.

I want to,

but I can’t.

Influence, perhaps.

Control, not really.

A flow.

Always in it, I am.

Even when I resist. 

The flow moves.

It can’t stop itself.

I can’t stop it.

Just like getting older.

Just like not being able to 

put my foot in the same place in the river twice.

I can glide.

I can resist.

I don’t decide, 

I just glide or resist.

Lane 1 moves me along either way. 

Lane 2 is my personal mind,

the place where thought resides.

It looks like:

opinions,

judgments,

plans.

Lane 2 might be noisy, loud.

Or, under the surface of my consciousness,

obscured, quiet.

Like air,

I can’t grab on to thought with my hands

or even my mind.

Repetitive sometimes,

yet fluid.

An energy.

As thought repeats,

it might appear solid,

hard and immovable. 

This is illusion,

still just energy.

This illusion dissolves when

personal mind moves on to something else, 

like a baby distracted by a new toy. 

Relief.

It happens without effort.

Thought moves,

it can’t help itself.

Lane 2 is the place that observes lane 1

and thinks it needs to get involved.

“Here, let me help you with that life thing.”

“I’ll take it from here.”

“I have high level organization skills.” 

“I’ve got this.”

Lane 2 talks a lot. 

Thing is, lane 1 will do its thing, regardless. 

Because that’s what life does.

Constant motion, doesn’t even need chit chat.

“Thank you for sharing Lane 2.” says Lane 1.

“I’ll just keep doing my flow thing.”

“You keep doing your thinking thing.”

All good, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

Lane 2 can be an influencer.

But even that can feel rather iffy.

Lane 2:

stress

strain

resistance

overwhelm.

A little or a lot. 

Lane 1:

In flow, 

I know what to do next.

Choices & actions are one with flow.

My knowing is automatic.

No pro or con,

I find myself in action,

or inaction.

A new idea:

I take it or pass. 

Then…

without thought or choosing, 

I find myself in lane 2. 

The energy of thought is in high gear, full speed. 

No, go this way.

No, go that way.

Push harder, 

hurry up, 

do something.

Then…

without effort,

I find myself in lane 1. 

It’s doing it’s lane 1 flow thing.

I’m in the boat, riding the ride.

I might pick up the oars

and paddle off in a direction.

A subtle shift, perhaps?

If the current is not too strong

the boat might veer a little toward a new place. 

I’m so immersed,

I probably don’t know I’m in Lane 1. 

But it has been there for me all along.

I’m fully here. 

Where?

Being lived by life.