KaBoom... The Magic of an Insight

It’s been feeling a bit like the movie Groundhog Day for me on and off throughout this pandemic. How about you?

We’ve gone in and out of having little to no help with Kyle, our son with autism. Circumstances with caregivers have been a wild ride and his day program is closed. Even if it was open, he would have no 1:1 aide, as she went on bedrest due to pregnancy complications. They still can’t find a replacement.

Many of the things we typically do with Kyle out in the community are not an option. During the first couple of months of this siege, we at least had the great outdoors of parks and hiking trails. With temperatures in the 100’s, those doors closed months ago. We are waiting for the extreme heat to pass.

This is also the first summer we have not had overnight help available for Kyle in a very long time. This would have been the case anyway, pandemic or not. We’ve had many years of being spoiled by being able to take trips while Kyle stays home. This gave us much needed respite and the ability to enjoy some adventures. Kyle stayed home with his predictable routines and environment where he seems most comfortable.

With a few exceptions and for a long list of reasons, the going out of town doors WITH Kyle have always been closed. Up until a couple of months ago, I would have told you that’s just how it is, a fact of our life. It’s not going to change.

I was lamenting not being able to see my 21 month old grandson who is changing daily by leaps and bounds. I felt so stuck. No options visible or available for who knows how long.

Then, KaBoom! And it really was a Kaboom feeling as if a brand new idea suddenly fell from the sky. An idea I had never thought before (EVER!) suddenly appeared. An insight, fresh out of the insight oven. It came with a lot of energy, enthusiasm, and excitement, grabbing my attention with great force.

It became clear to me that we should take the long road trip from Phoenix to Denver to visit the kids WITH Kyle. We would rent a nearby Air BnB so we could have needed space. Typically it takes Kyle 3-4 days to adjust to living in a new environment. So it seemed logical that we stay for awhile to get past the adjustment phase.

Since we had little to no help with Kyle at home anyway, why not have this experience while visiting our family? Why not, indeed!

After the initial insight, there was a flood of trepidation as I worked through potential scenarios and issues in my busy mind. Overthinking helped create uncertainty and fear. This trip may not seem like a big deal, but change like this for a person with autism can be a very big deal. This makes it a big deal for us too. Fortunately, I had a couple of friends to talk me off the ledge of "am I crazy to consider this?” The vote was a unanimous “do it!”

Just a few weeks after the initial idea, we left the blistering heat of Groundhog day in Phoenix behind and took what turned out to be a 15 hour road trip to Denver. Even before we arrived, Kyle was already surprising us by his ability to adapt.

We had an absolutely wonderful time visiting with our little grandson and his mama. Papa was called away on an emergency so the timing was perfect to give mama extra support. There were many pleasant surprises including the way our grandson took to Kyle. No fear or judgment there. It was so beautiful to see how he kept interacting with him even with little response back.

It was a lot of work taking care of Kyle in a new place. Two new places actually. We all showed incredible amounts of patience and ability to go with the flow and make adaptations when necessary. It was also exhausting at times. In a good way.

The list of the ways Kyle adapted is long. I’m sure he felt stressed on this trip too, but he got through it and I hope there were some pleasurable moments for him as well. The beautiful Denver weather was great for hikes and walks. Hanging out and bonding with our little grandson was priceless. Visiting and connecting with my daughter was special too. I would do it again and maybe we will.

This story is such a reminder to me that doors that appear closed are made of the stories we innocently create. It only takes one insight, one new thought or way of seeing something, to open a door. On the other side of that door may lie the potential of new freedom.

Riding the wave of an insight, allowing it to lead me to experience new possibilities, is one of life’s great gifts.

Note to self…

Listen.

Stay Open.

Go for it.